We buy fancy shoes so we can look at them during gigs, not so we can wear them out 'dancing'
Luckily our crowd are not ones to perform in such an outrageous way, instead behave way beyond social expectations by sometimes sitting down peacefully.
However I am getting worried that some people will break the rules, start letting go and wasting their bodies precious kinetic energy.
It has been proven in recent studies that dancing is contagious and will permanently give you chlamydia.
To protect you from this we will be imposing a dance tax at everyone of our gigs, all profits will go to buying 'Garfield' and 'Dilbert' cartoon books so you have been warned.
Thank you for your time.